My Heart
by sharpaygirl1299
Summary: After almost being murdered, Rose discovers someone is stalking her and her friends, endangering thier lives. Along with that comes the drama, angst, and depression. It gets even more complicated when Rose finds out who the stalker is. Joshley.
1. Chapter 1

Today is Monday. It's the first Monday of the new school year. What I should be doing is laughing with my friends. Right now, I should've been on my way to home room with my best friends. Jake, Kara, Jason, Nancy, and Josh. What am I doing?

Running for my life.

My heart is beating quickly, the room is spinning. The only sounds are the code red bell chiming piercingly loud, and my ripped up converse hitting the floor in a quick, unstable beat as I ran through the school's empty and dark hallways with someone behind me.

This person had a gun. This person had made my school go into lock-down. Everyone was locked away in closets and classrooms. Except for me.

I felt my legs shaking as I ran, and I couldn't breathe. I was way past the amount of time I could run for. My lungs hurt terribly, and it hurt to breathe. But I couldn't stop.

Soon the lack of air took its toll. My surroundings became blurred, and my shaking legs, tripped over one another, sending me flying onto the cold hard tiles of the hallway floor. I fell face first, catching myself with my shaking hands.

When I looked up, I saw a masked man standing over me with a smirk.

"Please-" I choked out, breathing heavily. "Just let me go,"

He chuckled and took the gun from his side pocket and pointed it at my fore-head. My body stiffened.

"After what you've done- I think I have the right to," he spoke.

"I don't even _know_ who you are!"

"And you never will,"

Before I knew it, the trigger was about to be pulled. I rolled clumsily out of reach, swinging my legs and tripping the man. But the bullet shot.

And it hit me right in the middle of my fore-arm. The pain rushed over me immediately, and it was unbearable. I yelled out in pain and gripped my arm, the blood from the wound rushing out causing my sweater's sleeve and my hand to be drenched in red liquid that was my blood.

I looked to my left and saw the man stumbling up from where I tripped him. _I had to get him away from me_, I thought. But almost immediately after, I heard a stampede of footsteps coming our way.

"ROSE!" one voice called out.

The man looked at me one last time, and whispered, "I'd watch it if I were you and your friends," before sprinting off, and out of the school.

I fell back onto the cold floor and tried to breathe. Everything was spinning, and the now present puddle of my own blood around me was just a sign to me that I had lost more then enough blood to cause me to black out. I closed my eyes, and winced in pain as I gripped my arm.

The footsteps grew closer, and closer, and finally they were right behind me, when they stopped. I opened my eyes to see Kara staring at me with wide eyes. She was scared to death of blood, but it looked like her worry and anxiety took over that fear.

Jason was soon beside her, and when he saw me, nothing except a small and short gasp escaped his mouth. I closed my eyes again, and breathed in and out. I couldn't speak. I wanted to, but couldn't.

"Rose? Rose? Rose answer me," I heard a soft voice say. It was Jake. I immediately opened my eyes, and gave him a forced, small smile. He was standing in my pool of blood, kneeling beside me.

"Nancy called the ambulance," he assured me. "What happened?"

"He--He chased me… Then shot me," I didn't know if I should've told him about what the man said to me. '_I would watch it if I were you and your friends_,'

"Rose, please. Be careful," Jake warned.

"Jake, this is nothing… I promise you, I'm going to be fine," I swore, but knew at the same time, half of what I said was a lie. It _was_ something. I thought I was going to _die_. But really, what's new?

It's been three weeks. Three weeks since I was running for my life. Three weeks since I last saw the man that threatened me and my friends.

But I'll just go on, and pretend it's nothing.

I'm in the mall with Jake. We go to the Springsdale mall every Saturday. It cures our boredom, and it gives us a chance to hang out. We hardly ever shop. Usally, we just walk around, talking to each other.

It was a sunny day, but it was humid and sticky as well. The weather never cooperates here in Springsdale. Ever.

I looked over to Jake, who was looking at some pretty blonde girl walking by. I giggled to myself, and tugged on Jake's arm, signalling him to keep walking.

"Jake, she's way out of your league, keep dreaming." I joked. He turned his head away from the girl and looked at me, a small smirk on his face.

"I can dream." Jake laughed, flipping his dark drown hair out of his face.

Jake is my best friend, and I love him. No, not _that_ way, but as a friend. Him and I were best friends since the first day of ninth grade. He knows all my secret and I know all of his. We trust each other with our lives, and I like it that way. I can tell him anything, and Jake can tell if anything is wrong with me. I can tell if something's bothering him, as well.

He know about my past, and it's not a pretty one. I used to be homeless. I used to live on the streets. I had no home, I had no family, I had no education, I had no money. I 'lived' in the crappiest part of California, and talked to no one. I took drugs, drank alcohol like there was no tomorrow, and the worst part was, to earn money I sold my body. Yup, that's right. I was a prostitute, and I hated it. To get into a school was so hard. I had to go to the library, and learn how to read, do math, all by myself. I had no mom, I had no dad, I had no friends. It was only me, and I was forced to call hell, home.

I _still_ remember the first day of high school. I had used up almost all my money to buy nice clothes, make-up, the works.Everything was so new, and I was scared out of my mind. I looked down at my feet, and that's when it happened. Jake and I bumped into each other, and we just became friends instantly. I remember walking home that afternoon-actually, just to my little spot in the alley, and I was just… Extremely happy. Halfway into the year we became closer and closer, and I became friends with his friends, and by the end of the first year we were all living under one roof, in one of the nicest parts of California.

Way before then, Jake knew about my 'secret'. It happened by an accident. It was so embarrassing, but it was worth it. He agreed to buy me anything I needed, pay for anything… His family is quite rich. Actually _very_ rich. When he found out that I was selling my body, he got pissed off. I remember the huge fight we had. _You have money now, why the hell are you still doing this, Rose!? Are you okay!? _I cried and said I hated taking his money away from him. It took a while, but he understood and I promised to stop. And after that, there was no problems.

Jake and I kept walking, we didn't have to tell each other, but we both knew we were heading for Starbucks. We did that all the time, because we both enjoy the over-priced frappacino's, despite the fact it has a million calories. We soon neared the sweet-smelling coffee shop, and stood in line waiting for our turn to be served. I inhaled the delicious scent of the pastries, fresh coffee, and excessive amounts of chocolate. I noticed Jake's eyes on my torn up Converse.

"Rose, I really need to buy you some new shoes." Jake chuckled. I rolled my eyes.

"I can buy them myself. Give me the time to get some more money together," I moved my feet, rocking back and fourth on my heels and the balls of my feet.

"They're literally falling apart, can't you just let me get you _a pair of shoes_ just once?"

"Maybe," I smiled walking with the line that was slowly moving closer and closer to the counter. He moved with me. I looked down at my feet again, my brownish red hair draping over my face. _Tell him, he'll support you._

"Rose," Jake starts. "Why am I sensing that there is something you aren't telling me?" _Fuck._ I look up at him and look at him in his eyes. I feel anxious, and the palms of my hands start to turn sticky. I shove them in my pockets, and look away from his stare.

"I know I'm going to sound insane, but…" I take in a breath. "I think someone-more particularly the man who shot me, is following us." He stares at me intently for a couple seconds before talking.

"Rose, you're just paranoid about what happened about what happened a few weeks ago." I move my hands out of my pocket and on my left arm feel the bandage wrapped around my arm rub against my sweater. It still hurts.

"You don't understand. It's just this feeling… It's weird, like I can feel his eyes on me." I say, not wanting to tell him what the man _really_ said to me.

"Paranoid." he sings to me in a singsong voice.

"Not." I singsong-voice him back and we both stop. Finally we are at the front of the line and are ready to place our order. I open my mouth to speak, but Jake steals the words from my mouth. He faced the young brunette barista and places the order.

"Two tall java-chip frappacino's."

"And a chocolate chip cookie." I add. She smiles and shouts the order back to her co-workers as she taps in the numbers of our orders on to the register in front of her. I open my book bag's side pocket, and search for money, but Jake, as per usual, beats me to it, and slams the money down onto the counter before I even have time to blink. He smirks at me, and I groan. We walk over to the counter where we wait for our orders.

"I really wish you would let me pay, just once. Seriously," I begged. "It's a couple coffee's and a cookie. Not a fricking car,"

"Well, sorry for being a gentlemen." he and I chuckle under our breath and we wait for our order.

"You're _not_ a gentlemen, Jake." I giggle. Our order is called out by a cute blonde-haired guy. When I say cute, I mean, like, really hot. He winks at me as I grab my cookie and coffee and I giggle. Jake of course notices this and glares at the guy, and I playfully hit him in the arm. Jake grabs his coffee before walking off with me.

We sit at a round table not too far from the counter. I take a small sip of my frappacino before taking out my cookie and taking a bite out of it.

"Thanks Jake," I take yet another bite of my delicious cookie.

"No problem," he replies. "That guy looks like a douche."

"You're mean."

"You're too old for him." I make a face at him. I'm 20, thanks to all those lovely years I used up before coming to high-school. Then I laugh. Not because it's funny, but because of the irony.

"I'm two years older then _you_ Jake." He stays silent.

"Yeah, well… I'm your best friend." he retorts. We both stare at each other for a while, before letting small giggles slip.

"You know one day I'm going to get married, right?" I ask raising an eyebrow, eager to hear his response.

"Yeah, I'll probably still call him a douche." he says casually, but a small smirk appears across his lips. I look at him seriously from across the small table, as I take another sip of the frappacino. He also takes a sip of his, and the smirk is still there. I playfully glare at him, and he winks at me. I groan and lean back in my chair, feeling the eyes on me once again.

* * *

**Meh.**

**So, here's the deal.**

**Give me 5 comments/likes/reviews, I put the next chapter on.**

**Can we do that?**

**I think so! =D**

**Now, if you are confused, check out the trailer here:**

www. youtube. com /PeacexLovexSharpay

Take away the spaces.

**It's on my channel. It's called My heart trailer.**

**Enjoyyyy**

**Please review, too.=)**

**xox**

**-Steph**


	2. Chapter 2

Finally, we're back at home. I'm sitting at the kitchen table staring down at a job application. It's for a job at a clothing store. I picked it up today in the mall, but I have no chance. No one has ever hired me because of my 'records'. It's stupid. I'm a perfect student, have pretty great grades, and it's not like anything of the sort has happened in the last--

Actually, last weekend, I was at a club with Kara, Jake and Josh. After our little night out, some jack ass comes up to us and starts harassing poor Kara. He was so obviously wasted, but he was a creep. After I told him to 'fuck off' for the third time… Let's just say, he called us all some names, and I punched him in the nose, and probably broke it. Then the cops came, and well.. Yeah…

I look up from the sheet of paper, and see Josh walking in.

"You look pretty tired. Long day?" he asks.

"No, it's this stupid job thing. No one will hire me."

"Sure someone will. There's a job for everyone, believe it or not." he says as he sits down on the wooden chair beside me. _Yeah, a prostitute._

I did _not_ just think that. No. I'm never going back down that dark road.

"Yeah, everyone except for me." I sigh as I look back down at the paper.

Josh is Jake's fraternal twin brother. They look _nothing_ alike, and their maturity levels are way different. Jake, is… Well, he's not mature. He's very _immature_. Josh, on the other hand, has my maturity level, but much more mature. They are both hilarious, too. Jake and him have the most mesmerizing brown eyes. They're so deep, but at the same time they can totally melt your heart. But since they are both my friends, and Jake is my best friend, it's useless on me.

They have another younger brother. His name is Jason. And his maturity level just topples all of us, and he is only sixteen. He is adorable, and is totally naïve, which makes him even cuter.

I look around and realize everyone is within ear-shot range. I perk up, and take in a breath.

"Guys, I have to tell you something." I announced. Everyone's heads turn to face me, and they all have different expressions. Kara seems concerned, as per usual, Jake seems amused, Josh is interested, Jason is confused and Nancy couldn't care any less, she hates me.

"I--I think we're being followed." I explain.

"Followed?" Kara asks.

"As in stalked." The room goes dead silent.

"Rose, we went over this. You're paranoid." Jake justified.

"I'm _not_ paranoid," I retort. "When the guy shot me, he said 'I'd watch it if I were you and your friends', and then ran off." Jake's face turns from amused to scared.

" R-Rose. Are you _sure_?" Kara questions, hoping for a different answer then 'yes'.

"I'm positive. I just want everyone to be safe." I say. Right then, the house goes pitch black. I hear everyone scream, and I stand up from the chair, feeling my way around.

"ROSE DID YOU DO THAT?" calls out Kara.

"NO!" I yell.

"Okay, I'm out of here. This is creepy." Jake says. I hear him shuffling around trying to feel where to go.

"Guys, head for the door!" I exclaim. There are noises of everyone shuffling around. I close my eyes for a second and imagine what it would look like if the lights were on, and where I was standing. I navigated myself through the tables, chairs, couches, and walls when I reached the door. I put my hand to the door knob, and I felt someone's hand go over mine. I screamed loud enough that the whole block probably heard it.

"Rose, shut up. It's just me! Jake!" Jake ensured.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I say, embarrassed. I hear him laugh, then I hear everyone else behind us reach the door. I faintly see Jake twist and turn the door knob, only to find it locked. I reach for the lock, and unlock it. He twists the door knob again, and it still won't open. I swallow, and it hurts.

"Uhm, guys," I start, "The door is locked."

"What? How can it be locked?" Nancy.

"Not if I can help it." I hear Jake say. He backs up, and round house kicks the door. It falls to the ground and all of us stampede into the dimly lit street.

"FREEDOM!" Jake sings as we run to the end of the drive way. Kara stops running and looks behind her.

"Guys, when we left the door was on the floor…" Kara noted. All of us stopped sprinting and swerved around to face the door. It was back up on it's hinges.

"Where's Nancy?" Jason asked. We all look around and there is no sign of Nancy. Suddenly, as if on cue, a loud ear-piercing scream coming from the house, broke the silence, causing us all to jump. All of our eyes widen when we realize what was happening. He had Nancy.

As if it were a reflex, I started running quickly back to the house. I _had_ to retrieve her. Even if she did hate me, she didn't deserve to be punished this way.

"What the fuck!" Jake yelled. "Where are you going?"

"To find her." I called back. I approached the door and took in a breath.

_You've been through worse. Just keep going._

I pull the door handle, and it won't budge. I sigh, and close my eyes. Something in my mind tells me to go to the window. I look around for the closest window and spot one. It's the large glass window that lead to the front foyer.

"Rose- Are you insane!" Kara calls out.

"Yes!" I retort as I grab a rock from the garden nearby, and over-hand throw it through the window. Shattering it into many, many pieces, but it leaves me enough room to get it. Everything is dark, and more frightening then it should be.

"Nancy?" I half-whisper. No reply. "Nancy?" I yell. Still no answer. _Maybe he's here, and hiding her._ I take in a breath and start searching everywhere for her.

I walk out of the window, a half hour later, exhausted, with no Nancy. He took her. He had her in his hands. And we had no idea where she was.

Everyone was leaning against the garage of the house, sitting down on the concrete floor. I walked over and sat down beside Jake.

"I can't find her," I whisper. "He has her." He stays silent, and just looks ahead, his eyes empty. I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes.

Suddenly a rush of colour fills the black space. I hear sobbing, screaming, and fear.

"Please! Just leave me alone!" It's a girl.

"Really? Do you think I would after all that trouble?" It's the man. That must mean that girl… Is Nancy. Now images, fill the colour. It shows Nancy, her face scared, and tears streaming down her cheeks, with the man standing over her. Sharpened knife in hand. I realize where that is. It's the abandoned warehouse maybe 5 minutes from our house. I open my eyes and look at Jake.

"I know where she is!" I yell loudly, startling everyone. Jason stands up and looks at me, confused.

"How?"

"No time! Let's go! In the warehouse down the street!" I exclaim, taking everyone's hands and pulling them up to their feet.

Everyone beside me is quiet. The only sound are Nancy's cries, and the pacing feet of the man.

"Please!" Nancy screams. "Just leave me alone! What did I ever do to you!"

"Oh, everything. More then you would ever know." he speaks calmly.

"I have done _nothing_!"

"That's enough!" he yells back, puling out the knife once again. Nancy looks at it, and starts to weep harder. I look to my friends, who are with me hiding behind boxes of abandoned cargo. I get up and get ready to sprint. I couldn't let her die, not in front of me. Even if she did hate me, I had to.

Just as I'm about to leave, I'm pulled back. I look to the hands that pull me and realize they're Jake's.

"Jake! Let go!" I say hastily.

"You are going to kill yourself!" he half-whisper-yells. He's so protective of me, kind of like a parent, and I love him for that. He just wants me to be safe, and I understand. But this was something I had to do.

"You know what I've been through. This is just another day for me." I hint at him. Before he speaks I kiss his cheek and give him a quick hug, never wanting to leave him. Everyone behind the boxes eyes are watching me, in total awe. Again, probably thinking I'm insane.

Before anymore words were said, I ran out from my hiding space, not looking back at the fearful faces behind me. The man turns in my direction and I punch him as hard as I can in the face. It hurts me for a second, but I get over it.

"What the fuck!" he yells dropping the knife to the ground as I hit him.

"Go fuck yourself." I say throwing yet another punch at his face. He looks at me and realizes who I am. His eyes fill with anger, and he clenches his fists, and throws a punch into my stomach. I bend over in pain, but remember the one thing I learned on the streets when I fought. _Never show weakness_. I get back up and smirk through the pain.

"Ever heard of not hitting a girl?" I ask, round-house kicking him in the chest, sending him flying towards the ground. He struggles to get up, and looks at me in the eyes.

"Ever heard of minding your own fucking business!" and with that, he punched me in my chest, sending me crashing down to the ground. I let out a small whimper of pain, but he comes at me again, kicking me in every area he can. He kicks me in the face, and I feel immediate pain. I see blood, and realize I can't let him win. If he does, it's all over.

I shake as I stand up, and throw him another punch to the head, and again in the ribs, and again across his face. I see his nose start to bleed blood, and I smile at this. He throws a punch at me, and I duck out of reach. I grab his ankles and trip him down to the ground. I see him shove his hands into his pocket, and pull out the gun. _The_ gun that he shot me with before. I felt my body freeze in fear, and I took a step back. He stood up, and pointed the gun to my head.

"GUYS!" I yell. "GET OUT OF HERE!"

"No, guys! Help her!" Nancy calls out. Soon, my friends are out of their hiding spot running to me and the masked man. He loads the gun and I scream.

"HELP!" I yell helplessly.

And help came, but not what I wanted. Before I knew what was happening, the trigger was going to be pulled, and I knew it. I was going to die. But before anything could've happened Jake yanked me out of the way, throwing me to the ground, sending the bullet strait into his chest.

"JAKE!" I cry, scrambling to get to my feet. I look to the man briefly, who has a smirk plastered on his face. He runs off quickly, before I have anything to do with him.

I ran to Jake, and fell to the floor beside him.

"Jake, please answer me," I say quietly, tears forming in my eyes. Kara runs over to, shocked and frozen. His brothers run over too, and we all bend down to his level. Kara takes two of her fingers and presses them to Jake's wrist.

"G-guys," her voice is shaking. "He has a pulse. Call the ambulance. _Now_." Jason takes out his cell phone out of his pocket with no hesitation and dials emergency.

_What if he dies? He__… He's all I have… The only family I have. The only real friend…_ I feel a sensation of more tears start to come from my eyes and I hide my face into my hands. I've never cried before in front of anyone but Jake. I felt Kara's arms come around me in a hug.

"Rose, don't worry. He'll be fine." she comforts.

"But-- He's--I--" I can't speak. My voice cracks out those words, and nothing else escapes. My body is shaking, tears won't stop pouring, and my best friend is right in front of me, almost dead. And it's all my fault.

* * *

**Okay, it's official.**

**I am wayyy too nice.**

**Please, guys. I put this on because of the comments I get--they make me very happy.=)**

**But I really would like some more comments.**

**Please?**

**It takes me forever to write, and it takes not even a minute to comment. So please?**

**xoxo**

**-Steph**

**P.S.... I Went to the 3oh!3 concert... Sean and Nat flirted with me... Yeah, pft. I played it cool. (I thought I was going to faint).**

**Annnd hugged Gabe Saporta... Be jealous... jkkks...**


	3. Chapter 3

It's 4 am. What I should be doing: sleeping. What I am doing: sitting uncomfortably in a hospital waiting room, waiting on news about Jake.

Everyone, but me, is asleep on the floral patterned couches, relaxed and comfortable. I can't even close my eyes. _He can't die… He won't die. He's strong….. Why did he even do that for me! It should've been me! It should've been me! He just had to take that bullet for me didn't he? Now he's in surgery, on life support, all because of me._

I stood up and walked to the front desk on the floor, where there was a middle-aged doctor, with greying hair, who looked very tired.

"Uhm, Dr. Bruce?" I asked politely. I knew his name, because I've been asking him questions for the hours that I've been here. He looked up from some files he was rummaging through, and closed the door, and walked around the counter with a very serious look spread across his whole face.

"Jake?" he questioned. I nodded.

"Is he alright? Did they finish the surgery?"

"Rose, he's done with the surgery," he started. I smiled to myself quickly. There was still hope. "But, unfortunately, there is a great chance he won't survive… I'm so sorry." I ignored that, trying to hold back tears.

"Can I see him?" I ask. He nods and motions me to follow him. I trace his path as he walks through many dimly lit halls, finally leading up to the door of the room Jake was in.

"He's in here." he opens the door for me and lets me in alone. I pass the corner and see it. Jake, laying pale white and lifeless on the small hospital cot. I felt tears start to fall once again, but it was okay, because it was only us. So I let them pour out.

"You just had to do that, didn't you?" I ask to him. No response. "You could've let me get shot." Still nothing. The doctor walked in and I wiped the tears from my face. Dr. Bruce checked out the machinery, and suddenly stopped. He turned to me, and looked me in the eyes.

"Rose, I'm sorry. He's gone." I felt my whole world break as he said the last word. _Gone_.

"Really?" I choked out in a half-whisper. He nodded once and left the room. I was alone. All alone. No more Jake. I wouldn't be able to go to the mall with him again. I would never have his arms around me in a hug, or a comfort when I cried. I wouldn't be able to talk to him anymore, or hear his voice.

"Rose…" I heard a familiar voice say. I turned to face the sound, and it was Kara, with all of our other friends behind her. Everyone walked in and took one look at Jake, and either burst into tears, or just looked away.

I took another glance at him, and more tears started pouring from my eyes. I broke down to my knees and sobbed. _How is this possible?_

I felt Kara's hand on my shoulder, and I didn't even look up at her. I kept crying, and crying, and crying. It was over. My whole point of living was over. There was no point to being here when Jake wasn't.

Kara bent down to me and wrapped her arms around me.

"I'm sorry." her cracked voice spoke.

"It-It-should've-been-me." I spoke between sobs.

"Rose, it happened the way it did. None of us deserved to be in that spot."

"I-I'm going -to-kill-that bitch," I sobbed.

"Rose-" Kara tried to calm me.

"He killed a part of me. I kill him." I spat out. No one spoke, because they all agreed. Kara pulled me to my feet slowly, and I took one last look at Jake's lifeless body.

"I'm going home." I say letting more tears fall.

"Rose, there's a ma-" Nancy tries to say but I cut her off.

"I'm leaving." I speak sternly. I run out of the room, out of the hospital, and keep walking. I don't have a car, so I walk. There aren't many cars on the roads, and the air is cold.

Then I think back to Jake. He was gone forever. _Forever_. The word 'forever' wouldn't stop repeating in my head, taunting me. I kept walking along the side-walk, and the tears never stopped the whole time.

_There__'s no point to living anymore_. Nothing is worth it. It's like I don't even have a soul anymore, and all that fills my mind are depressing thoughts and memories of Jake.

All night, I was in my bed crying, and wishing it was me instead of him. He took all of me when he left, and all that's left is just the part of me I wish I could forget.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror in my room. The girl in the mirror was pale, looked life-less, and had dark make-up smudged around her eyes, and a single tear falling down her cheek. It didn't look like me at all.

I get sick and tired of looking at the broken image of me, and walk out of my room, and down to the living room downstairs. I pass Jason, who was sitting on the leather couch watching TV, and his eyes widen as he sees me.

"Uhm," he stutters. Nancy looks at me from her spot at the kitchen table and just stares rudely.

"What _happened_ to you?" she asks.

"Nothing much, except I hate my life. You know, nothing much." I murmur emotionlessly. Josh looks over at me from his spot in the kitchen with Kara. They're cooking something. They always are. His eyes look over me and stops at a certain point.

"Rose, why are there cuts all over your wrists!" he exclaims. I look down and realized that my sleeves were rolled up, showing off the damage I gave myself last night. I pulled down the sleeves of my sweater quickly.

Sure, I cut myself last night. With a knife, and it felt _great_. But they didn't need to know that.

"Nothing!" I reply.

"Rose, are you okay?" Nancy questions, and looks at me like I'm the most insane person she's ever talked to.

"I'm. _Fine_."

"This _so_ has something to do with Jake, doesn't it?" she points out rudely. She is the rudest person ever to even ask me that. It happened not even 5 hours ago! She notices my upset face, and the tears I'm holding back.

"You loved him, didn't you? That's it! You were in love with Jake!" I glare at her, and feel tears start to slide against my cheeks.

"No I didn't! Now, do you want to leave me alone?" I snap. "He-It happened not even 5 hours ago, and he was my best friend! What did you expect? Me to be all happy-go-lucky!" Nancy's snobby expression doesn't change one bit, and everyone else looks horrified at what she just did. Josh and Jason looked like they were about to strangle her. Their brother had been murdered in front of their eyes, and she could care less.

I remember sometime in the night, I heard Jason and Josh call their parents to tell them the news. They were both crying, not like me, but they were crying. They don't show it now, but that's what they want to do. We all just want to cry.

I glare at Nancy one last time through my eyes, and turn to head upstairs. I walk, then run up the spiral staircase and walk through the hall to my room.

Jake's is right beside mine. His door is shut, and I'm tempted to go in and see if he was maybe there, waiting for me with open arms and telling me this was just a horrible night mare. But I knew he wasn't, so I just open the door to my room and shut the white door behind me, to conceal the noises of my sobs. I slide down the door and sit on the floor and cry into my hands.

This is too much for a person to handle. I've seen a person get killed before, but never was it someone I cared about as much as Jake. I thought back to what Nancy said to me. _You were in love with Jake!_…. I couldn't possibly be in love with Jake. It's not possible. He was my best friend, and nothing more… What does love even feel like? I remember this movie I watched with Kara one night…_ 'A Walk To Remember'_. The main characters were in love with each other, as Kara explained. I asked her what love felt like, and she said she didn't know, and wished she did because 'it looked like something that could conquer anything'. _Maybe one day you'll fall in love, Rose_…

Jake… He was… Everything I've ever wanted to be. He was perfect in every way, and he made me feel special and alive. Like I wasn't useless, and I had a world of chances and opportunities ahead of me. When he kissed my cheek, my legs felt like they turned to liquid. When he hugged me, I felt safe from anything and anyone. Being with him made me feel like I was in heaven. Without him, it felt like hell. My life was hell.

I kept crying and the tears wouldn't stop. I needed this pain to go away, even just for a little while. Then I remembered the knife in my bed-side table.

I reached my hand over to the small table and pulled the little metal handle, and opened the small drawer. I moved my hand around inside, and felt cool metal touch my skin. I pulled it out and closed the little drawer and looked at the knife.

I turned my hand over and exposed my scabbed wrist. I took the knife and ran it across the skin there. It sent a tingly feeling all over my body, and I felt a new pain. The pain of the cut. I did it again, and again, and the pain I had before was distant. Blood slowly began to trickle out onto the surface of my skin, and I pulled my sleeve down to hide it.

After putting the knife back, I lay on my bed and turned my head. On the bed-side table was a framed photo-strip of Jake and I. It was from the photo booth in the mall. I analyzed each of the hilarious pictures over and over, and felt tears start to pour from my eyes again, accompanied by quiet sobs. Suddenly, a knock on the door interrupted me. I tried my best to wipe away my tears, but they kept on coming.

Kara opened the door slowly, and her beautiful brown eyes looked me over, and sympathized. She walked in the room, and quietly shut the door behind her before sitting beside me on the bed. I sat up, and looked down at my hands.

"Rose…" she whispered. "I'm really, really, really sorry."

"Kara, it's-fine." I cracked.

"No, it isn't. You know, you can talk to me. I'm here for you." she said as she gave me a little one-arm hug.

"Yeah," I murmur, but it's the truth. She's my girl-best friend, and I trust her with my life. She was also one of the people that treated me nicely when Jake first introduced me. Kara is always cheery and optimistic about almost everything, and I love that about her.

"Now tell me Rose, did you-" she hesitates. "Did you love him?" I look down and hold in tears. _Did I_? Was it possible?

"I don't know." I whisper.

"Well, let's see…" Kara trails off into her thoughts. "How did you feel around him?"

"Happy, safe…" I thought more, and gave a small smile as I spoke. "He could make anything better. He would talk to me like no one else, and I trusted him with my life… He could make me smile, no matter what was happening. He made me feel special… _Alive_. Every time I saw him, I felt anxious and got really excited. I really don't think it was possible to live life without him…" Kara looks in my eyes and a huge grin spreads across her lips.

"Rose, you loved him." she beamed happily. A smile began to form on my lips, but I then realized _there's no point_. _He isn't here._ The smile dropped, and I felt sad yet once again. Kara noticed her change in mood and put on a questioning face.

"Jake's not here anymore." I spoke quietly, answering her un-asked question. "It's not worth it." Kara's face became tense, and I saw her eyes fill with sadness. I felt my eyes start to burn, and more tears began to roll down my cheeks. Kara's brown eyes were red, and tears began to fall from her eyes.

"Rose-" her voice cracked. "I'm-so-sorry" she whispered in between stifled sobs.

I tried to stop, lie to myself. _He is just fine, it's all fine_. But then I remembered him, lying in the hospital cot, pale, frail and weak, and that was all my mind was filled with. Him in pain, _horrible pain_. It should've been _me_, I probably could've made it through.

Gun bullets, stabs, bruises, and broken bones were nothing new to me. I had to fight my way through life, with all I had. I didn't know people, and they'd start a fight over something stupid. Usually over a drug deal, something of the sort. Either way, a bullet wound, and bruises were nothing I couldn't handle.

Kara looked at me, and flashed a look of sorrow and pain, but when around others, she hid it well.

"I'll leave you alone." she spoke. I watched as she got up off the bed and walked out of the door gently closing it behind her.

I broke out into sobs, more tears and totally gave out. I lied back on my bed and just let every ounce of tears come out of my eyes. _He will never come back, there's no use. Crying will just make it worse._ I turned my head and saw it. In my mirror's frame, a photo strip from a day at the mall. Jake and I. I laughed helplessly at our hilarious expressions and let out a shaky breath. That would never happen again, and I let more tears stream down my warm cheeks. My eyes grew heavy, and I fell into sleep.

I looked around and took in a breath of the warm summer air, taking in my surroundings. We were at a park, laying down on the grass watching the sky.

"Rose?" Jake inquired, his head turned to face me. Our eyes met and I felt warmth arise to my cheeks.

"Yes, Jake?" I smiled, giggling.

"You know you are my bestest friend?" he chuckled.

"You know, bestest isn't a word." I joked, as he sat up from the grass, I followed his example, and sat cross-legged, balancing myself by putting my hands behind me, taking in handfuls of grass.

"Yeah," he mused. "It just shows how strongly I feel. I'm too smart for real words."

"Well," I started, wrapping my arms around him. "Then you are my bestest friend."

"Best_est_?"

I giggled. "Best_est,_ Jake."

"And that is why," he offered, nodding in agreement with my statement. "Is why I bought you this." Jake pulled out a long, slender box with the name _Swarovski _in silver engraved on it. I smiled, as opened it, revealing a beautiful diamond studded heart on a silver chain.

My jaw dropped.

"Jake-" I stuttered in amazement. "I-Thank you." He motioned for me, with a cute smile on his face, and I turned around. He put the necklace on my neck, and I looked down at it, grinning from ear to ear. I turned around and threw my arms around him.

"Jake-How- I-" I stuttered, still in shock. I felt his lips touch my cheek and heat rushed to my cheeks. I looked him in the eyes, and he smiled sweetly.

"Don't leave me, please. I can't imagine-"

"Forever." he reassured, the smile still on his lips. "Forever."

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Saddly, you guys don't care...

Boo...

I see no comments, and I want to cry.=(

But I'll continue cause I love ya'll.

xx


	4. Chapter 4

I lifted my shaking hand to my neckline, wrapping my hand around the little pendant._ It felt like it just happened yesterday,_ I thought as I lifted myself up from my bed. Everything hurt, my cheeks, my back, my arms- All covered in bruises. I tried to wipe away any memories of that night.

"Hey Rose, I've missed you." I heard a familiar voice say. JAKE! I turned my head quickly in the direction of the door, but no one was there. It was all in my head, I was _going crazy_. I needed some fresh air, a walk, maybe.

I ran into my closet, and went through some clothes and pulled together an outfit which consisted of a pair of black combat boots, skinny jeans, a black t-shirt and a vest.

After putting it all on, I walked across my room and went to my window. I opened the latch, and took off the screen, and went through the frame, and hopped onto a tree that was close-by. I dug my feet into the nooks and indents the tree had, making my way down to the grassy ground.

_What time is it, anyway?_

I kept walking, cold air gently blowing against my skin, and the sun a deep orange in the sky. It was either sun-rise or sun-set. I noticed droplets of water on leaves and the grass and I walked on into the forest. Morning. I took in a breath and looked around me as I walked on, going into the thick forest.

I never took it off, the necklace. It never left my neck for the 4 years it's been there. It probably cost more then I could ever pay, but Jake insisted. He was the best thing that ever happened to me. Without him, I would be God-know-where, on a street corner, wasted, high, and looking for business.

What would happen now? Would everyone get sick of me and kick me out? After all, I was just another face to most of them. I'd overheard Nancy talking to some of her friends at school, making up crazy things about me.

I kept on walking, staring at my feet, and the passing ground. I suddenly heard a rustle coming from near-by trees and bushes. I felt myself freeze, but decided to keep on walking. _It was just the wind, it was just the wind-_

"Hey, Beautiful."

I froze completely. I felt warm breath on my neck, and I felt helpless.

"Did you miss me? You've been crying a lot lately." I didn't reply to him.

"Leave." I spat, not turning around, feeling the rage I felt when he shot Jake, and the helplessness now, that I was done.

"You can't expect me to leave you, you're such a pretty girl." he leered, brushing his hand against my neck softly. I turned around, and faced the masked stranger I knew so well.

"What do you want?" I fumed, in a raspy, shaking tone.

"Rose, sweetie. I just want you." he exposed. I took a rather large step back from him, and smirking, he took one where we were almost touching noses. I took an even bigger step back, and he followed. Suddenly, a rush of adrenaline come over me, and before I knew it I was running away, with him not too far behind.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I screamed, as loud as I could, hoping someone would help me. I kept running, and running. I knew this path, it lead behind the houses and in about 10 minutes we would hit the park.

_Thump, thump, thump, thump_.. My feet kept hitting the ground increasing with speed every second. After about one minute, I came to a halting stop. A huge tree was knocked over the path, along with branches as sharp as knives, and leaves blocking any sight of way. I took in a huge breath and realized I couldn't stop. If he caught me, something bad would happen, and I didn't want to take that chance.

I jumped in the direction of the tree, and grabbed onto one of the sharp branches, and pulled myself up. I felt a hand grab my ankles and sent me crashing down to the cold ground, at least two feet down from the tree. I whimpered and pain, and tried to continue on, but the man's grip was focused, and pulled me down.

"Listen, you are going to do as I say-" he started fearlessly.

"Never!" I cried. "I lost my best friend because of you!" he laughed humourlessly and I glared at him, his hand still tightly gripping my waist.

"Pretty brave…" he trailed off, smirking as he stuck one of his hands into his back pocket. "Too bad it's all going to go to waste," he pulled out a sharp bladed knife. I felt my body go tense and it froze. My heart was pounding inside my chest, and I was sure I would faint any minute.

"Now where did we leave off last time?" he smirked, pointing the knife at my chest. _If I was going down, I could at least end in a bang_, I thought. What was the worst he could do, kill me? Bring me to where Jake was in heaven? But then I remembered something

"Oh, you mean the part where you killed my best friend?" I asked, shoving my hand into my jeans pocket, and pulled out exactly what I was looking for. My hand gun. "That's right, I went there." He let go of my wrist and my arm dropped, but he and I still remained in position for battle.

His expression was worried. He wasn't expecting this, that's for sure. But then he did something even _I _didn't expect.

As I slowly pretended to pull the trigger, to scare him off, he took of his mask and disguise. His face, his eyes, his voice… The familiarity hit me. It was James Luthers. My old friend from 9th grade. But here's the thing, he wasn't just a friend.

Back in 9th grade, I was new to school, I was naïve, I relied on Jake to show me everything- How to act, how to dress, how to talk to people there… It was all so new. On the second day, I made a friend. He was James. At first he was nice, caring, talkative… But after a while, Jake started to realize things about James. He knew where I was- at all times. He called me more than once every day, and just knew things I'd never told him. Jake confronted me about this, and I swore it was nothing. He wanted to call the police to investigate, but I didn't. Stupid me. Much, much later in the year, he cornered me, in an emptied hallway. He had a look of evil in his eyes that I had never seen before.

"What are you doin-"

"Shh…" he spoke softly, the evil still in his eyes.

"James! What are you-" his lips were about to touch my neck when I hear it. To me, it was the most amazing sound ever.

"Touch her, I kill you, Luthers." Jake spat, running towards us, and throwing James off me into the lockers.

"You called him!" James exclaimed, with a rather stupid question.

"No! I-" and with that he slapped me. Strait across the face, and it hurt. Maybe because I wasn't even expecting that, especially from him. That was enough to set off Jake. He threw him once more against the lockers and punched him across the face, and resulted in a bloody nose.

"Fuck you, Anderson." James sneered, with blood running down his face from the nose bleed. With that, he left. And that was the last time I'd ever seen him. Until now.

"J-J-James?" I stuttered, in pure shock and awe. His familiar smirk, and look of evil was still there. But then I remembered everything- the laughs, the tears, the fun nights in the city… He was my best friend.

"Go ahead shoot."

I held the gun up, my hands shaking. Then I got it. He took off the disguise because he knew I was weak, only there. My emotions, nothing else. He knew I would still care, and that was the only way I wouldn't shoot him.

I tried to do it- pull the trigger. It was _that_ simple. He wasn't running, he wasn't hiding. He was right there… But I couldn't bring myself to do that.

"What happened to you?" I enquired, in a horrified tone of voice.

"You rejected me." he whispered, evilly.

"You _stalked_ me!" I retorted. "You killed Jake over a _rejection!_"

"You loved him, I had to. He was my only competition." James replied.

"I did _not _love him in the way you think!" I shouted back.

"You did. Admit it."

"F-fine. I did." I admitted.

"Exactly. Originally, the shot was meant for you. But then asshole got in the way-"

"Don't say that, shut the fuck up!" I shrieked. But before I knew it, he knocked the gun out of my hand, and grabbed it. He had the knife and the gun. _Fuck_.

"Now, Rose. I have the gun, and the knife. I'm going to tell you what I want." he demanded. I didn't reply. "You are now my girlfriend. Say yes, you're safe. Say no…" he trailed off chuckling. "You know what happens." _Fuck_.

I was screwed. I had no way out. There was no possible way I could get out of this unharmed.

"Anything but tha-" I was about to say but he jumped at me with the knife, sending us crashing to the ground. With the knife only inches from my face, I looked him in his eyes.

"Fine" I spluttered out, not even believing myself. He smiled and got off of me, and I stood up.

"Can I leave? I'm tired." I mumbled, hoping I'd get a chance to run away.

"Fine." he inclined. "But you tell anyone, of anything. You are dead." I took in everything, and turned around. I started walking away from him, and started back to the house, sad, alone and helpless to the power he had over me. I was trapped- and no one could save me. I had to date this man, who killed my best friend, and go along with it. It wasn't going to be easy, and I doubt I'd make it through alive.

A M O N T H L A T E R

He's perfect, amazing, kind, sweet, caring… Everything I knew he was. Maybe one day I could be Misses James Luthers, and be even happier then today. I was in love with him, and was enjoying every second with him. We talked every day, went out all the time, and always had a blast together.

No one else liked him though. Kara spat at him, Nancy rolled her eyes every time he was near, Josh didn't even look at him because of the rage he had, and Jason looked ready to spring at him. But I didn't care. I was in love. And he loved me back.

I was in James' arms, and enjoying it. I felt safe, and secure, and alive. I felt useful, and I loved that. I hadn't cut myself, not even once, in a full month, and I didn't even have to take anti-depressants. It was everything I'd ever wanted in my life.

Yet another perfect date, went… _perfect_. James took me out to dinner at a beautiful part in town, at this cute little restaurant. The food was amazing, he was amazing, and he kissed me. That was amazing.

I pushed open the door, the smile from after the kiss still lingering of my face, and the happiness was still there.

"Did you dump him yet?" Nancy asked, with boredom, as she was sitting down at the kitchen's breakfast nook reading a magazine.

"Nope!" I smiled cheerfully.

"What? Why?" she exclaimed.

"Because," I started. "He's nice, he get's me… And I think I'm in love with him." Everyone's faces changed to a surprised look of shock.

"Rose, please. Do you not remember Jake? At all? Who killed him?" Kara asked, raising an eyebrow. Jake… My hand felt for my necklace, and I remembered. His eyes, his hugs, the way he made me feel- And I felt it. A huge wave of depression, out of no where, come out and brought me down.

"No." I lied, not even myself believing the lie.

"Rose," Josh started, standing up from the couch. "He _murdered_ Jake. Your best friend. How can you _not_ remember him?"

Not listening, not listening, not listening…

"Leave me alone!" I cried, and left to my room, with tears starting to form in my eyes.

Closing the door behind me, I broke down into tears, collapsing onto my knees, shaking, and loud sobs escaped my mouth. Jake- I couldn't forget about him. I wasn't in love with James, I was in love with Jake. I was just pretending James was Jake, not himself. It was all a lie- All the happiness. It was because I was pretending that Jake was alive, and that was him.

I dragged myself over to my end table and seized the knife I hadn't seen for a while. It was still sharp, and glimmered in the dim light coming from outside of the closed curtains. I looked at my pale skin, my wrists had deep, obvious scars. I ran the silver blade against my scarred skin and watched as the blood started to escape my body. I repeated it again, and again, and again, until the pain was gone. This was what my life was turning into. It was slowly going back to the way I was before. I couldn't really be here, there was no way. I wasn't myself without Jake- he was a part of me. When he died, it was like all of my happy emotions, memories and spirit went with him. I was just a soul-less depressed person, trying to find herself. My life was now lonesome, full of hurt, and angst, and most of all, there was no one to save me from myself. And to be honest, I was more scared of that then anything else**.**

"I really like you, James." I hinted. I was in my room with him, sitting on my bed, and swinging my feet back and forth.

"Me too." he smiled, kissing my lips softly.

"I can_not_ believe it." Kara said, rubbing her temples with her fingers. She had been stressed out the whole time Rose had been with James. Would he kill her? Would they hear a scream, and find Rose dead in her room? She couldn't handle anymore grief.

"How does she even _be around _him, knowing he killed Jake?" Nancy barked.

"She's going insane." Jason spoke, simply.

He and his brother had been through hell in the last month. Their parents were absolutely heart-broken when they had called the night Jake was pronounced dead. They had to lie to their parents, something that they never were comfortable with. They had to say it was a fly bullet, an accident. But it was much more then that.

A chiming bell rang through the entire house. At first, everyone was confused, then remembered- It was the doorbell.

"Who's that?" Josh asked, looking up from the laptop he was on.

"Hmm," Jason fake-thought. "Maybe the devil came back to drag James to hell!"

"I'll go check it out." Kara voiced, turning off the stove. She was working on a new recipe. Kara was always cooking, and trying to come up with something even more delicious then the last dish she made.

Kara pulled open the door, and her jaw dropped, and all she could do was scream.

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GASPPP! XD

Thanks for the reviews guys. I now feel loved and appreciated. I really love writing this story, and have been working on it for a while.

Thanks for all the support.33

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